Midterm Undone

Still have exam papers to check today. This really is the bad side of being a teacher.

Laxatives

I feel guilty that I might not be able to comprehensively cover the topics in Election Law and Legal Ethics. I've been absent from class 4 times this year and now that the exams are approaching, I pity the students.

I shouldn't have adapted a fellow teacher's love for absences.

And I haven't checked their exam notebooks yet. Great, just great.

A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes

I had a dream where everything seemed so familiar but I couldn't recognize the place and the people involved, when I woke up. I walked a trail so familiar I wondered if I had the same before. It could be de javu. Or I've had the same dream before. Or I've actually been in that place but I just couldn't remember.

I'd like to think that it is a recurring dream and that it is a sign that I am on a loop. I am walking the same path again. I am repeating the same mistakes. I am walking in circles.

I need to jump out of this loop and start again. I need to shift gears and be courageous enough to leave new footsteps on a new trail.

But when?

Organized Person Wannabe

I used to spend a lot of time organizing my stuff. Now I can't even straighten up my bed. I am too engrossed with my newfound Smart Unli Data, I can't seem to let my phone go.

I need to have a room to be proud of again. I am beginning to be a slob again. Tsk tsk tsk.

About Me

I've been blogging for almost 10 years now. I can't say I do it so that people can read about me. I often blog an entry when something frustrating pops up in my mind, mostly when I feel sad or depressed and I need a vent.

When I compose an entry, I don't often think of any other reader. I think of myself as the only reader although I know I'll be posting the entry in an open internet.

Because I have a very weak memory ( I can't remember names, faces, numbers, events, and basically everything -- too much anesthesia ), I blog so that years after, I'll have a bank of memories to read from and thus remind me of what I felt at certain moments of my life.

I am not a writer. I am just an ordinary person with ordinary experiences and ordinary thoughts. I don't intend to amaze or impress anyone with this blog. This blog is my memory bank. This blog is for me. This blog is mine. Just posted publicly for anyone to see. =)

Leaving Behind

Patpat brought home lots of chocolates when she and Jazzim came back from Surigao. This is my share of the loot. :)

Patpat got accepted for a job as legal field officer at UN-CHR in Davao City so she'll be transferring residences for a while. I admire her courage to face panel interviews. I pity her for having to leave her family in Marawi though. I hope all goes well with her young family, separation and all.

New Banner

Took me literally hours to decide, finish and change my blog's header image. Shouldn't happen in a few years so the neck cramp should be worth it. It's been days since I last sat in front of my laptop, hence the cramp.

Sick Again

I'm sick again. Sigh. I need to maintain a healthy diet and drink vitamins. One bout of sore throat can already down me.

I won't be going to class tomorrow, so that at least is the good side of getting sick.

Still Afraid

I was informed of a case, and my heart started to beat so fast I almost lost my breath.

Seems I really am that afraid of taking on cases and going to trial. ;'( I pity my family and the people who still expect me to do better.

I wish for things better. I just don't have the courage the take the initial step forward.

My God. I am a lost cause.

Totally Stuck

Why am I stuck? Have I no ambition? Am I going to be forever satisfied with today? Will I ever worry about tomorrow and strive to make something out of today?

I don't know. Honestly, I don't know.

I am happy with today. But I fear that I am letting the people around me down. They might be expecting something out of me. And I don't think I can deliver.

I am sorry. (in a Gloria M. tone) :)

I don't know what I am doing with my life and what I am supposed to do with it. My God, as always, I am lost.

Sometimes I just want to fade into oblivion and be forgotten. :(

But I know that my family expect more.

(Sigh) I am disappointing them again.