It's strange how even our own relatives see us, the half-maranaos, as the lesser kind. Of course they wouldn't say it to our faces, but the discrimination can still be gauged through the words spoken.
I am used to an aunt's bias, as it has gone on for years, how can I not be immune to it already. But still there are times when I want to shout out to the world (maybe just to myself) and release this frustration.
Okay, so a lady lawyer who is only half-maranao, is fit to be married to a certain something (and she should be thankful for it), and a full-maranao is fit for a certain something of a top rank qualification (and the other party should be thankful for it).
The gall.
I am not looking for a high dowry, because dowries disappear after the wedding. I never asked for a bongga wedding (I often wished for a romantic secret wedding). But because I am the maldita niece, they can easily put nasty words in my mouth and everyone else would believe them.
I am not something to be bought by a promise of high dowry. And it pisses me off when I'm made to look like the materialistic bitch that I am not. I am materialistic, no doubt (give me a ton of gadgets and I'd propose the next day), but I am not the kind to accept skyrocketed dowry in order to augment some things missing.
I want stability. I want acceptance. I want loyalty. I want respect. I want love.
I don't want weddings. I don't want pain. I don't want suffering.
I don't want my child to experience any inch of discrimination the way I did.
I want to give my child a better future, if not the best, or give her no future at all.
